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I’m wondering if that “sexy as hell” business might be a front for your own benefit, to talk yourself into what a fabulous guy he is.

As Flannery O’Connor said, a good man is hard to find, and when everything else seems so right, why let a little slobbery kissing get in the way?

You’ve been dating him for a month and if kissing were the only problem, that wouldn’t be so bad.

But if you’ve truly tried to talk to him about this, his inability to hear your needs is troubling.

If he has a clue, he’ll remember what you talked about and get turned on as hell. I’m skeptical that someone could lick your whole face like an all-day lollipop and you’d still find him sexy.

The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown Sexy as hell? I get how you could find somebody sexy when you’ve never kissed him yet … But once you kiss someone, my theory is that you either still think they’re sexy as hell—even more so because you’ve just uncovered a new layer in their overall hotness—or you won’t.

The good news is that sometimes it takes a few tries to get your kissing compatibility in synch.

But “a few tries” doesn’t mean a full month, especially when it sounds like you’ve done quite a bit to try and steer he and his tongue in the right direction.

Since you’ve been dating him for a bit now, you can easily discuss your likes and dislikes and let him know that you love slow, gentle kisses, but have a hard time with an aggressive tonguester.That coupled with him treating you like chocolate chip mint on a sugar cone may ultimately mean he’s not your guy.You don’t have 501(c)(3) status, after all, so if he doesn’t get it right soon, stop the charity and move on.A bad kiss may not necessarily end things (or no relationship would ever get off the ground), but you might decide that the jury is still out on sexy.Kissing is the gateway drug; it either gets you revved up for the next stage, you decide it’s not good enough and move on, or, in your case, you start administering tutorials on wandering tongues, which is about as sexy as making out with James Lipton from Inside the Actor’s Studio.

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Try this, “Hey, I really like you, but I prefer less tongue when we kiss.

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